Permission to feel – Mark Brackett PHd

Written by on September 2, 2019 in Book Club, Self Help

Having emotions these days can make you feel out of control. You are feeling sad, depressed, anxious but you have to have a brave face and be positive. It is almost sickening. Toxic positivity. Toxic gratitude. You are feeling angry but you must fake being happy. In this book Mark Brackett gives you permission to feel. He gives you a method to express you anger and label your anger and using the Ruler method how to regulate your emotions and find solutions to your problems instead of letting it fester inside. It gives you a tried and tested method. Ruler – Recognise your emotions, Label your emotions, Express your emotions and regulate your emotions. There is an app you can download to help you label your emotion. Lots of research was clearly done as there is almost 50 pages of references in the book. Finally a book that gives you tools to deal with your emotions in a more productive and constructive way. It gives you also an understanding of Pleasant vs energy. High energy High pleasantness could be like focused, happy, enthusiastic. Low energy and low pleasantness bored tired fatigued. There are also strategies on how to regulate your emotions like mindful breathing, forward looking strategies, Attention shifting strategies. Self talk, cognitive reframing strategies. Like a encyclopedia of scenarios and how to regulate and deal with emotions. Importantly it starts with recognising, expressing and once you know the monster in the room can you regulate and deal with it.

The mental well-being of children and adults is shockingly poor. Marc Brackett, author of Permission to Feel, knows why. And he knows what we can do.
“We have a crisis on our hands, and its victims are our children.”

Marc Brackett is a professor in Yale University’s Child Study Center and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In his 25 years as an emotion scientist, he has developed a remarkably effective plan to improve the lives of children and adults – a blueprint for understanding our emotions and using them wisely so that they help, rather than hinder, our success and well-being. The core of his approach is a legacy from his childhood, from an astute uncle who gave him permission to feel. He was the first adult who managed to see Marc, listen to him, and recognize the suffering, bullying, and abuse he’d endured. And that was the beginning of Marc’s awareness that what he was going through was temporary. He wasn’t alone, he wasn’t stuck on a timeline, and he wasn’t “wrong” to feel scared, isolated, and angry. Now, best of all, he could do something about it.

In the decades since, Marc has led large research teams and raised tens of millions of dollars to investigate the roots of emotional well-being. His prescription for healthy children (and their parents, teachers, and schools) is a system called RULER, a high-impact and fast-effect approach to understanding and mastering emotions that has already transformed the thousands of schools that have adopted it. RULER has been proven to reduce stress and burnout, improve school climate, and enhance academic achievement. This book is the culmination of Marc’s development of RULER and his way to share the strategies and skills with readers around the world. It is tested, and it works.

This book combines rigor, science, passion and inspiration in equal parts. Too many children and adults are suffering; they are ashamed of their feelings and emotionally unskilled, but they don’t have to be. Marc Brackett’s life mission is to reverse this course, and this book can show you how.

About the Author


Marc Brackett, Ph.D., author of Permission to Feel, is the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor in the Child Study Center at Yale University. Marc has published 125 scholarly articles on the role of emotions and emotional intelligence in learning, decision making, creativity, relationships, health, and performance. He is the lead developer of RULER, an evidence-based, systemic approach to social and emotional learning that has been adopted by more than two thousand schools, pre-K through high school, across the United States and in other countries. Marc has received numerous awards and is on the board of directors for the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL). He is co-founder of Oji Life Lab, a digital emotional intelligence learning system for businesses. Marc also consults regularly with corporations like Facebook, Microsoft, and Google on integrating emotional intelligence principles into employee training and product design.

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