Bully free zone – Bully proof techniques

Written by on April 16, 2010 in Parenting

It is heart breaking to both parent and child when your child is helpless and is bullied at school, playground etc.

Our children need to learn basic skills to look after themselves in this sometimes big bad world.

Bullying at school is a big unspoken  problem. somes goes un noticed as the child will keep it to themselves. Communication is key.


Here are some of those solutions to help your child navigate a vicious social jungle and deal with bullies:

10 Ways to Bully-Proof Your Child by

Dr. Michele Borba

Start the talk now! Children who are embarrassed or humiliated about being bullied are unlikely to discuss it with their parents or teachers and generally suffer in silence, withdraw and try to stay away from school. So start talking to your child about bullying before it ever happens. Tell your child you are always available and recognize it is a growing problem.

Stop rescuing. Children need practice to speak up and be assertive so when the moment comes that they do need to stand up to a bully, they can. Always rescuing can create the conditions under which a child can become a victim.

Avoid areas where bullies prey.
Bullying usually happens in unsupervised adult areas such as hallways, stairwells, playgrounds (under trees and equipment, in far corners), lockers, parks and bathrooms in places such as malls, schools, parks and even libraries. Teach your child “hot spots” (places most likely to be frequently by bullies), and then tell him to avoid those areas.

Find a supportive companion. Kids who have even one friend to confide in can deal with bullying better than those on their own. Is there one kid your child can pair up with? Is there a teacher, nurse, or neighbor he can go to for support?

Take your child seriously.
Reassure your child that you believe him, and stress that you will find a way to keep him safe. 49 percent of kids say they’ve been bullied at least once or twice during the school term but only 32 percent of their parents believed them.

Determine if it’s bullying. Bullying is always intentional, mean-spirited, rarely happens only once and the victim cannot hold his own. It is not teasing. Establish this is bullying then gather the facts to help your kid create a plan to stop it.

Offer specific tips. Most kids can’t handle bullying on their own: They need your help, so provide a plan. For instance, if bullying is happening on the bus tell your child to sit behind the bus driver on the left side where the driver can see passengers in the mirror, ask an older kid to “watch out” for your child, or offer to pick your child up from school.

Don’t make promises.
You may have to protect your child, so make no promises to keep things confidential. You may have to step in and advocate.

Teach assertiveness. Kids who use assertive posture are less likely to be picked on.  Stress to your child that he should stand tall and hold his head up to appear more confident and less vulnerable.

Stress: Stay calm. Bullies love knowing they can push other kids’ buttons, so tell your child to try to not let his tormentor know he upset you.

Teach a firm voice.
Stress to your child that if he needs to respond, simple direct commands work best delivered in a strong determined voice: “No.” “Cut it out.” “No way.” “Back off.” Then walk away with shoulders held back.

Get help if needed.
Tell your child to walk towards other kids or an adult.

Boost self-confidence.
Research finds that arming your child with confidence is one of the best defenses against bullying. A few self-confidence boosters include learning martial arts, boxing, or weight-lifting, finding an avenue–such as a hobby, interest, sport or talent–that she enjoys and can excel, giving her opportunities to solve her problems and speak up for herself.

he Olweus Bullying Prevention Program (OBPP) (www.olweus.org) is the most researched and best-known bullying prevention program available today. Designed for students in grades 1-8, OBPP is a bullying prevention program that has produced reductions in school bullying by 50% or more. This video gives an overview of this bullying prevention program with feedback from those who have used it. For more information on OBPP call the Hazelden Foundation visit www.olweus org


Help is only a phone call away  visit South African Depression and Anxiety Group website

If you are needing a referral to a psychologist, psychiatrist or support group, please can you call The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) on 011 262 6396 or 0800 20 50 26 and speak to a trained counselor who can assist you further.

Our offices are open 7 days a week from 8am – 8pm.

Suicide Crisis Line
0800 567 567
SMS 31393

Pharmadynamics Police and Trauma Line
0800 20 50 26

AstraZeneca Bipolar Line
0800 70 80 90

Sanofi Aventis Sleep Line
0800-SLEEPY (0800 753 379)

Department of Social Development Substance Abuse Line
0800 12 13 14
SMS 32312

SADAG Mental Health Line
011 262 6396

Cyberbullying help

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