Forum

Alway remember this is a public forum and don’t cause trouble for yourself by making comments that will come back to haunt you.

Some topics are of  a very sensitive nature. Enter at your own risk.

We will not allow posts that are inappropriate and offensive.

  • No hate speech;
  • No racist or sexist remarks
  • No personal or insulting attacks
  • No capital letters
  • No intolerance
  • No name calling
  • Keep it short and on topic
  • Show respect to all
  • We reserve the right to remove or delete any comment or block any person without notice or reason.

Click here to  Report  misbehaviour. Report this

Please use anonymous nicknames. If you don’t want to be known at all, don’t put your name anywhere near your post.

We have made it mandatory to register on the site before you post. Think of a very kewl nickname to use. You will have to use a real email to register to get your username and password emailed to you.

Register here

Login to forum


Welcome Guest 

Show/Hide Header

Welcome Guest, posting in this forum requires registration.





Pages: [1]
Author Topic: Practice what u preach!!
poppie.c
Newbie
Posts: 7
Post Practice what u preach!!
on: February 7, 2012, 10:47

Recently there was a status put up by an islamic page regarding people that dont interact etc, instead of commenting on the status, i inboxed the person my comment coz i felt it was positive criticism & concerned the person not the fans.
i then spoke very politely & gave my opinion,even apologising twice if i may have unintentionally upset her

& then....she starts attacking me in her reply's & being terrible & ever so defensive over nothing,all i did was give an innocent very respectful nice opinion...is that the way people who preach dawah r supposed to act????? it's quite discouraging...the way she treated the situation :?

Nanima
Administrator
Posts: 270
Post Re: Practice what u preach!!
on: February 8, 2012, 08:39

Eish, I think we all find it difficult at times to deal with criticism be it positive or negative. I personally have dealt with a few issues here as well, although we value constructive criticism we will not entertain malicious intent. It seems you had well meaning intentions and did it in the correct manner. InshaAllah when she calms down she can evaluate the situation and see the value from your input. We all need to learn this valuable skill to deal with criticism.

Interesting article on how someone should deal with criticism from life hacks

Nobody likes being criticised but, unfortunately it is a fact of life. To be able to respond to criticism with nobility and detachment is an important life skill, which few people have. If we respond to criticism without careful consideration, it can easily lead to unnecessary suffering.
1. What Can I Learn from Criticism?
Most criticism is probably based, at least in part, on some truths. Criticism may appear negative. But, through criticism we have the opportunity to learn and improve from their suggestions.
2. Respond to the suggestions not the tone of the criticism.
The problem is that people may make valuable critical suggestions. However, there tone and style of criticism means that we respond not to the suggestions but remember there confrontational manner. In this respect we need to separate the criticism from the style of criticism. Even if people speak in a tone of anger, we should try to detach their emotion from the useful suggestions which lie underneath.
3. Value criticism.
The problems is that quite often, we only value praise. When people speak kind words we feel happy. When people criticise we feel miserable. However, if we only received insincere praise and false flattery, how would we ever make progress? If we wish to improve and develop we should invite constructive criticism and appreciate their suggestions.
4. Don’t take it personally.
This is often the biggest problem which occurs with regard to criticism. If I criticise my Mother’s cooking, she feels personally offended. But, it is a mistake to identify ourselves with an apple pie. Somebody may find good reasons why our cooking is bad; but, this does not mean they are criticising ourselves. When people criticise us directly, we should feel they are not criticising our real self; but, just an unillumined aspect of ourselves. When we criticise others, we are perhaps criticising their pride or jealousy; but, the jealousy is a mere passing emotion, it is not the real person.
5. Ignore False Criticism.
Sometimes we are criticised with no justification. This is a painful experience. But, potentially we can deal with it more easily than criticism which is justified. One option is to remain aloof and ignore it completely. We should feel that false criticism is as insignificant as an ant trying to harm an elephant. If we remain silent and detached the criticism is given no energy. If we feel the necessity of fighting it – in a way, we give it more importance than it deserves. By remaining silent we maintain a dignity that others will come to respect.
6. Don’t Respond Immediately
It is best to wait a little before responding. If we respond with feelings of anger or injured pride we will soon regret it. If we wait patiently it can enable us to reflect in a calmer way.
7. Smile
Smiling, even a false smile, can helps us to relax more. It creates a more positive vibration and smoothes the situation. It will definitely help psychologically. Smiling will motivate the other person to moderate their approach.
Tejvan Pettinger works as a teacher in Oxford. In his spare time he enjoys writing on topics of self-improvement, meditation and productivity. He writes a blog on meditation and self improvement called Sri Chinmoy Inspiration. He also gives Meditation Classes on behalf of the Oxford Sri Chinmoy Centre.

poppie.c
Newbie
Posts: 7
Post Re: Practice what u preach!!
on: February 9, 2012, 10:38

Hai Nanima this person wont learn & wont bother to apologise either yet she preaches dawah..very funny isnt it, after she replied to me i said imagine if u treated someone else this way & they werent as calm as i was & then she replied a whole lot of nonsense again & blocked me. lol
il discourage all my friends from joining that page.
im disgusted with that kind of behaviour.

Pages: [1]
Mingle Forum by cartpauj
Version: 1.0.33 ; Page loaded in: 0.043 seconds.